When the Container Breaks

Recently I found this dream recorded April 13, 1997,in a letter I had written the day after the dream to my friend, F.  The letter that I do not recall writing lay in a file and it was quite by surprise I happened upon it last week.


Bound to a Red Destiny


Dream: I was in my workshop, my woodworking shop at the time in real life.  I had a can of acid or lacquer thinner in my hands. It broke in two and the acid spilled over my hands and down the front of me and onto my dog Jack who was with me onto his head and back.  I did not act quickly but sort of in a sleep walk state—I went to the sink and filled a bucket with water and soap.  It was the kind of automatic calm that can overtake you in an emergency.  There was a rag with a lot of soap powder on it.  I was holding Jack in a tight embrace, washing his head and back with the soapy rag. This part of the dream was so visual—there were already big scabs formed on his head and I remember thinking how I must have waited a long time to wash him and the acid must have really burned his head and back to already have formed scabs. It must have laid on him full strength a long time. The water bucket fell over a couple of times while I was washing him and I had to stop to right it. The water went everywhere and under things and I kept wondering if anything had gotten ruined from it, but I felt out of control to attend to everything and I felt myself unable to do anything about so many things, like the situation was bigger than me and the only tangible thing was this dog and myself. Perhaps I had been cleaning myself off during this time but I don’t remember. At this point in the dream my friend, F’s voice came in as an overlay like a radio broadcast.  She was telling me a story she had heard on NPR about a man who had been whipped by his commanding officer for some failure on his part, and then ordered to whip the men under his command. And that while the whipped officer was whipping his own men, as he perspired, the wounds from his own flogging stung and glistened with sweat and heat. I woke up with my arms tightly wound over my chest still holding Jack to soothe him.  Jack allowed this tight enclosure around himself so sweetly as if he had abandoned himself to me completely.

The soul is a strange doctor. It reads you your cure in reading you your turmoil and anguish.  It slows the meter down and drip-by-drip you see the eventuality of your spirit.  Your body and mind and feelings in a pile-up on the expressway, but the beauty of its telling is its fondness for you, the tightest embrace, utterly human in dimension.

It is nineteen years since the dream occurred. A big cycle of completion. And nineteen years later I see more clearly that Life is largely holding paradoxes in our hands.  Things break.  Containers of love break.  Love contains darkness and light. It contains pain and joy, despair and hope, it contains vulnerability, it contains sweetness and surrender. Love contains everything. And when its container breaks in our hands, for no apparent reason or perhaps we are holding it too tightly, perhaps we are not paying attention— who knows but it breaks, the paradoxes of love and life spill over us, we get burned AND we are held tightly in that wounding AND we heal.  In the dream I feel surprise that the burns Jack has experienced have already begun to scab over. Jack surrenders completely to being washed and held. He is my model and guide.  I feel overwhelmed and only able to attend to the burns and the washing.  I feel that no matter what else has happened this is my task.  The soap powder is mysteriously already on the rag.  The water spills over and over in the dream soaking everything running everywhere.  Life’s essence the souls essence is uncontainable; it is what cleans us washes us heals us.

The man who is whipped because of a personal failure is ordered to whip his own men and while he is carrying out his orders he feels his own wounds smarting, glistening in the heat and sweat. He does not protest, but he feels this pain in his own awareness and the pain has made him conscious; through his pain he is learning about his own humanity, his failings and his anguish. A thoroughly human being and a true warrior.




The Woman Who Is a Complete Human Being

Reflected Love One of the most heartbreaking realities in our culture is the fact that all of us have grown up with and been taught to see our worth and our essence through the reflections back from family, lovers, institutions, job performance, career success or failure, how we look, to name a few.

And from these erroneous assessments we go on to believe that we are something inferior; not the beautiful Beings of light that we are, but somehow always on the outside of a perfection that we perceive to be in others or in the future but not now, not in ourselves. We go on to attack ourselves in this way, continually trying to fix ourselves, to fit in with others, social situations, public institutions, in order to feel that we are okay.

As women growing up in this culture the reflection often is fused with how one looks, or acts or if we are acceptable in the roles we have taken on. And so even our sexuality becomes a torment of trying to be something for others and in doing so we subjugate ourselves to something we perceive as a measuring tool for our goodness.

I went to hear Robert Waterman speak, an original founder of Southwestern College in Santa Fe, NM last year. The title and prologue of his talk, drew me in a powerful way:

The Good That is Seeking You from Within

"The fear began when, in our curiosity, we stepped away from ourselves. The sensation of separation, while initially exciting, settled in as fear. From then on, we interpreted love through its reflections. Reflected love is a contrary and perverse partner. Love itself continued below the surface, growing in stature, yet undetected by fear. Our addiction and defense of fear masquerade as a dark lover. All this time, and we are ancient, while we fought the dragon, love continued to mature within us. On the surface we have come to believe we are experts, which effectively hides from our awareness the true mastery by which we guide our lives. When we discover how we actually make our lives, living from love is easy and powerful."ROBERT WATERMAN

I was personally and deeply touched by Waterman’s workshop that day. He is a calm very humble man whose presence is an abiding loving one.

Linley Solari of Taos, also attended this workshop and wrote a clear summary of the day’s offering by Waterman, which I include here in part:

“…And then he[Waterman] began, in earnest, by saying that our discomfort, our pain, our fear, our anger, our confusion is NEVER about what is actually happening but lies solely with our relationship to what is happening. “The difficulty is never the issue; it’s our relationship to the issue.”

“EVERYTHING is a reflection back to us, “he said. “It is not something to be judged or fixed or defended or protected. You are not something trying to find God…that is the reflection. You are already God trying to find itself in this world.”

What Waterman was addressing is the basic and fundamental split in our psyche between what we hold ourselves to be and what we actually are. We have all been hypnotized through thousands of years of imprinting into believing we are something separate from the foundational intelligence of the universe. We have all come to believe in the innate limitation and inadequacy of the individuatedself. And so we seek…we seek to find “something” in the “outside” world that will make us feel adequate: love, sex, money, family, knowledge, status, religion, accomplishment, power. We are seeking to somehow complete what we feel is incomplete: our very selves. “We interpret Love through its reflections.”—End of Solari’s summary.

the nature of illness

the nature of illness

Here is the dream I wish to end this year with…it is a celebration of human existence as learned from the woman in this dream. I pass it along to you.

2013   The Woman Who Is A Complete Human Being

I dream I am at a sitting with M and 3 other people, another woman and two men. M is sitting facing us and we are sitting 4 square facing him. The room is without light, it seems to be twilight. There is a knocking sound against the building. The woman behind me thinks there may be someone at the door. I know it is a tree branch but I cannot control my body from responding. My body crawls down to the floor and out of the room. When I cross the threshold I am facing an open door and it is broad daylight. I am in a beach town and the air and light have that quality and color to it. I walk out the door turning right without any idea where I am going. I wonder how or if I will remember how to get back here. I meet a child and she takes me to a house of an older woman. I met these woman years ago-she remembers what I wore, a silk shirt that she admired. The woman is lying on her back. A man friend is there who is my age, and she is showing him her chest, that is bleeding below where her left breast has been removed. Both her breasts are completely gone. The scars are there and her chest looks like a battleground-it is purpled with bruises and blood is seeping from below her breast scar. I am reminded of the portraits of Jesus on the cross. I don’t know if she has an infection or the wound is still healing. She shows this to him without any self-pity. To simply reveal herself. Then she is standing up and she has with her in her hands two of her favorite objects, which she seems to be gifting to him. One is a silver pen that she holds in her left hand. The pen looks like nothing I have seen before. It is about an inch and half wide, it is tapered at each end, it bulges a bit in the center. The ends that are tapered look a bit like the feather but it is symmetrical and very unusual. In her other hand she is holding a piece of silk, a small square of it about a foot square or a little smaller. The silk is gold but luminous gold, luminous from within the weave of the material. I love the realness of this person, and she strikes me as a complete and total human being, not simply a woman although she is certainly that.   I find I love her relationship to the man, the child and to life. It imprints me. I go to leave and as I walk out I think I am going back the way I came but I gradually see that the numbers are getting larger in the addresses and I see that I will not be going back the way I came. I feel at peace to be somewhere so foreign.

This dream in a way speaks for itself. I still see and feel the woman’s chest, my chest. I feel as if she lives inside of me and as if this potential is the most human and most awakened part of me. All that it means to be a real human being. The wounds, the pen, and the silk. Our human journey including our injuries, our creative ability to express ourselves and the essential fabric of our existence—the golden and luminous truth of who and what we are.

We can relearn our understanding of ourselves, our real selves, and begin to see that in others, honoring the truth of our realities to one another and to our children.

star gazers

star gazers

I wish you a very peaceful holiday full of joy and promise and renewal.



Taking One's Place

Taking one’s place, the place that belongs to you. Our dreams tell us exactly where we are in our lives — where we are shy or hesitating or playing small. And they give us exemplars that are not. In the following two dreams which came within 10 days of one another the subject of taking one’s seat or place in life, in the world, came into play.

January 15, 2013 looking for my place

I dream I was teaching in a school-it was a large institute or college. Something has occurred in the school or in the world that was being evaluated at a forum. I was entering the school through a large underground passageway or viaduct. Several students are straggling; other teachers and myself are ushering them along because of the event outside and in. I was going up into stadium-like seating. I see the rows for faculty. I am going to be speaking and I am telling myself that I don’t necessarily need to sit down. I see there are one or two ‘aliens’ in the faculty row. Two large elephant-headed men. They are giving one of the faculty, a man, a hard time for some way he has handled something. They are sitting to either side of the man. There are a number of empty seats around them. I walk toward the aisle not sure if I should sit down, or stay standing. I can see and sense that the conversation with the elephant heads and the other faculty member is very intense and I am not feeling at ease standing near them. I wake up.

In this first dream I am in a teaching position at a secondary institute and there is a forum to address something that has happened in the world or in the school. There is a sense of urgency in the dream to pay attention to something, something that has happened, is happening, of importance. I am in a teaching role with students, ushering students to 'take their seats' for this discussion. So the dream is saying something about taking a seat and addressing something of importance  through all these cues right at the beginning of the dream. I am also going to be one of the staff that is speaking. Inside I am feeling very indecisive about what and where and if to sit down. As I am combing the seats for a space I see two elephant-headed men I believe are ‘aliens’ sitting among the faculty. They are sitting to either side of another faculty member, a man, and are in the process of grilling him about the way he has handled something. Elephant-headed, for me, is symbolic for wise beings. The intensity with which they are pressing him is very uncomfortable to watch, mostly because I experience it as if it were happening to me and for this reason would like to keep my distance. So I am stalling sitting down as one of them and stand in the aisle waiting to know what I should do.

Waiting to know what one should do can be a place of power and it can also be a place of non-acknowledgement of what you are already doing.  I am already a part of the faculty of this institution and yet I feel uncertain about actually sitting among the faculty.  And then on top of it I see that one of my colleagues is being pressed by two very large wise beings to be more masterful in his way of handling things. So I see that it is not enough for me to acknowledge what I am already in the role of doing but I must find my mastery in it and apply it to each and every thing that comes my way. So taking my place is not only partly about assuming my position but involves what kind of commitment I will bring to that position.   We are all perpetual learners — students — no matter what else we are doing. And if it happens that you answer your calling with your whole heart you will in effect teach others something of value...taking it to heart what you are learning is the what that you are already teaching. Then one's own teacher becomes internalized and we hear what we need to learn through the wisdom of our own hearts; a wisdom that can be relentless and inescapable, a wisdom that presses in on you from all directions. It is a choice to step into this and embrace it this way and it is also a game changer. To accept that you are in charge and responsible for your own mastery and by your example are teaching others. The man in between the two elephant-headed men is my exemplar. He was not a super savvy bright slick star. He is a hard working ordinary-from-the-outside human being who was being called out for something he had handled unmasterfully. The most important thing about him is that he accepted it. He did not run away or change his seat. He took it. Sometimes this is the most we can do when we are facing a difficult learning.

i stood to face her

i stood to face her

January 25, 2013

An image of a lion, male, walking out onto a playing field in the bright light of day. The playing field is lush green; you step down onto it from steps off the sidewalk. The playing field is in its own plane. I have never seen it like this in this country, perhaps in Europe. Behind the lion came a dog and perhaps another animals or 2 dogs. Could be a dog and a lamb. It was a level playing field but somehow elevated so you could see the whole area from here where I am standing.

Scene shifts and I am on a train in Europe. There is a banquet taking place in another city that I am going to attend. I am near the passenger seats. There is an elegant woman with an enigmatic smile (reminds me of L) sitting next to the window facing the direction of the movement of the train. There is a ‘gentleman outlaw’ sitting next to L. They are not acquainted. The outlaw says to me about L, “I knew she must be an American because she sat down exactly where she wanted. I always sit in that exact seat. She didn’t even wait to see where I was going to sit, she simply sat where she wanted.” L continued her smile.

Later I am in the banquet room and I have become L’s character. I am a little late to dinner but not really, as it seems to be an ‘eternal buffet’. I am putting a white piece of cake into a glass — I don’t see the plates, and I am taking it to the place I am sitting. I am sure others will want what I am eating. I’ll take the first bites and give the rest to them.

This dream is rich in positive images. A lion steps out onto a level playing field and it is completely in view. The lion is often a symbol for the higher self and is considered auspicious in a dream. A level playing field signals that there is complete equality and equanimity in the situation, nothing is biased against anyone. Everything is possible.

Then the scene shifts and I am on a train going to a destination in another city in Europe where I will be attending a banquet. Another rich image-the banquet- the feast. On the train there is an older woman who reminds me of a friend, L, who has an enigmatic smile. A smile of mystery. The Mona Lisa smile. She says nothing. She doesn’t have to speak; she acts with complete authority without pushing, without self-righteousness. She boldly sits down decidedly in the seat she wants. A “Gentleman Outlaw”, a man who also lives by his own rules but without offensiveness is in the perfect position in a way to comment on L because he is like her. But he is mystified nonetheless. He sees that she is Free. His words are a book in themselves as he comments that she ‘did not wait to see where anyone else wanted to sit’, she simply sat down in the seat she wanted, by the window, the place with the most access to a view and facing in the direction of the movement of the train. What an invitation for a way in which to live one’s life.

The scene shifts again as I arrive in the city where the banquet is being held. Now I have shifted into being the woman character, L. This dream, which is one big summons from start to finish, has imprinted me and I have embraced a new potential embodied by the enigmatic L. I arrive a little late but see it is no problem because this is an ‘eternal buffet’, a dinner, not only where you can serve yourself as much as you want of anything, but a dinner that never ends. As I embrace my new dream character I am also embracing eternity and my own eternal and lawless nature. Again the sense that one could not do anything wrong here in this place as this potential. I help myself to a piece of cake and take it back to where I am sitting so I can offer it to others after taking a few bites. Because I am sure they will all want what I am having.

This is a dream that tells it all.  It says, "If you want to know how to live, experience the inner reality of these folks." And I was so imprinted inside the dream itself that I did just that.  So that when I woke up I still had the sensation of living in that kind of freedom.  This is the magic of a dream.


Hearing One's Name Called

In a dream as in real life it is known that we must pay attention when we hear our name called, see our name written, or have the option to sign our name. Something important is taking place that requires our signature.   In indigenous and ancient cultures, to know the name of a thing or a person gives you power over it.  In other rites of passage, for example, in the sacrament of Confirmation in the Catholic tradition, we choose a new name to represent the most Real part of us.  In native traditions the elders or tribe members come to name a person for the attributes that mark them in the most real way.

Thus names have significance.

alignment with the sun

alignment with the sun

May 26, 2008 Awakened at 3:33am

I dream I am invited to go on this canoe trip on the Florida coast or some similar coast by these two guys, whom I did a shorter trip with once before. They have emailed me and sent maps. One of the guys is Llewellyn Vaughn-Lee, a Sufi sheik whose writing and presence have a deep affect on me in real life. I stop by to say I am interested. They are talking it up and asking me if I am truly interested. The more they talk about it the more interested I become. I ask them how much it will cost and they tell me about 3800 dollars. I groan and realize I am doing something right before this that will cost about 1000 dollars and realize this is all of my money and I then realize I will probably be moving my home around the same time. But I still want to do it and I wonder what life will do to help with the money and then realize “I have all the money I need for the trip.” That somewhat amuses me in the dream because I hear the words "I have everything I need." They are like a soothing balm. In the emails from the men there are maps and I think I get 4 urgent emails one right after another, the last one is asking me the spelling of my name. I laugh because he, LVL, has already written my name our on the first email which I scroll up to look at and it is spelled perfectly. PATTI TRONOLONE— it is written in capital letters and centered at the top of the page. When I am there with LVL and the other man and we are talking in person, I am envisioning the trip so vividly I even see myself getting my hair cut at one of the coastal stops. Then I realize this is going to be longer than 2 weeks. I am so interested and I realize I have never given myself to anything like this before. It is a mystery and the maps are full color outlining the beautiful fractal edges of the coastline up and down and on all sides of this place. I feel ready to say yes to them and then I wake up.

Seeing one’s name written in a dream has a very interesting and powerful effect. In a way, unlike other dream experiences, you know that something in this dream is coming so particularly for you, it is an indescribable closeness and the feeling of attention rises without having to do anything consciously about it. The dream is focused on my interest and commitment to pay everything that I currently have in order to take this trip. It is a dream asking me for a commitment, not out of extra resources which could be seen as an amusement, but from my only resources. It doesn’t hide the fact that I will be giving everything over in order to take this trip. And then I “see” the trip as if it has already taken place, as if it is a completion of a prior knowledge. I see my hair being cut, often symbolic of the personality getting shorn, and I see the beauty and intricacy of the shoreline, as I canoe around every inch of its fractal edge. I am being shown that I will consent to be on a voyage that takes into account every nuance of the life journey and be made conscious of it.

January 16, 2009

I dream I am in a prison with many people, men and women. It is known that some of us are going to be freed soon. Perhaps in the next day. There is a woman who had a child secretly while she was there and she is trying to conceal the baby during her release. And there is a sort of distancing from her like we are stepping back from our attachment to her, except for this guy. He doesn’t seem to know or he is acting as if he doesn’t, meaning he has not withheld any loving attention from her. Everyone else seems to know that she will be found out and that she and the baby will have to disappear, as we recall another woman in the past had done. The guy seems to be very fond of her-they are both from Brazil and are planning to meet up afterward. The woman is very loving and singing to her baby. The man is passing around a paper to those of us that are leaving to put our contact info on it. I think to myself that he will be sad if the woman and child disappear, as he is clearly so fond of them. On the sheet where I am to sign there is just a P with a check sign next to it. I sign my name and when I get to the last 3 letters I write the wrong letters and I have to correct it with quotation marks like this:

Patti Tronoldhe“one”. On seeing the word “One” as part of my name, I wake up.

they each saw something different

they each saw something different

It is our mind in our lives, which imprisons most of us— how we see ourselves, how we see others and the world. This dream involves seeing that one’s time in prison is coming to an end.  In this particular prison a woman has had a baby. So we see that even in prison or perhaps especially in prison the generative and life giving forces are still at work! And she is a very loving and generous mother. The group-thinking in the prison, according to my dream character, is that this makes her dangerous, even though she has kept the object of her love a secret. And everyone, except for the man who truly loves her, creates a little distance from her. "We" have seen at least one other like her and she has disappeared. In dream language this is the preview of awakening being painted for you. A woman, who has given birth to love within and despite the confines of a prison existence becomes free. And she is loved beyond any binding of fear or attempts to distance from her.

And then my dream character is required within the dream to sign her own name, before she, too, is freed, because it is desired for continual contact. Initially, my dream character signs her name incorrectly, she does not see the correct ending to her name, in a sense from not paying attention, but in reality she does not know who and what she is.  So in fact she she gets to see that she has misnamed herself and the dream allows her cross out the misspelling and sign again. And then she sees the word “one” that is the true ending of her own name and upon seeing it she wakes up.

When we find out who and what we really are and that we are truly part of something that binds all of us together as one fabric, and that one fabric is made from the energy and cosmic force of Love, we wake up from our prison of isolation and we are freed.



Your Favorite Dream Character–YOU!

Let's face it – your favorite dream character is always YOU. It is easy to think that our dreams are proof that everyone who bugs us in real life really is to blame. But nothing could be further from the truth. It is mainly that we are so used to our own attitudes and beliefs we often take for granted that we are right in our dreams or righteous in our opinion or on the winning side.

And although there are exceptions to every rule, the telling sign is always “how free from attitude is our dream character, how generous and expansive?” 

Because if we are smug or self-congratulatory or pointing a finger, you can be sure there is some shadow playing out that is yelling for our attention.  These kinds of polarizations are indications that there is something below the surface about to be revealed. So it is not just the content of dreams to pay close attention to but the feeling states they offer – they are suggestions often of how we are in the world or another way to Be in the world.

When I went to Italy for the first time, a dear friend and fellow traveler there told me that the rule of thumb to follow when in Italy was to find a way whenever possible to get up as high as I could so I could see everything.  That is the rule of thumb I propose in looking at a dream, taking the bird's eye view, and in doing so enabling the possibility to see that our biases might not be true.

the visit
the visit

Allowing ourselves to see our hidden aspects in the other characters will break the dream wide open.  As in real life, the folks who bug us the most are expressing themselves in a way that we don't approve of, we often adopt even a moral stamp to our judgment of them but meanwhile a creative part of our self-expression is getting suppressed. So it Bothers us. Our dreams often reveal the why. They set us up to see the typical way we respond to conflict, intimacy and relationship in the world. They show us how our judgments of others are revealing an aspect of us we are afraid to expose.

It takes a careful climbing back into the dream to feel into each aspect.

Recently I had a dream that illustrates the way it can feel inside of the dream character, of being the one who feels so strongly s/he is RIGHT, even though lurking in the rightness is a distorted sense of survival.

I dream I am a man in a house at night with my business partner who was a woman, and her husband. She is a photographer and that is our business together.  There is something I wish to do and my partner and her husband do not want me to do it and will not go along with my plan. I feel so compelled to do it, there is a sense of survival in it, that I decide to sneak out of the house into the pitch black of night and get in my truck and drive off to do “it”. As I am planning this out in my head and am about to leave I call someone on the phone to let 'him' know what I am doing and I stay on the phone with him while I am leaving the house. I am outside in the black of night, hurrying to my truck, it is in a rural setting – grass, trees, nature all around. I am completely blind as I am moving quickly, when suddenly Nature turns on all the lights!  It is like the bright light of day is suddenly shining down on me and I look around... and there right next to me, pursuing me, are my partner and her husband.  My partner's husband says to me, "Have you thought about what you will do when 'she' (my business partner, the photographer) is no longer there?" I realize they have come to ask me this question, not to restrain me. I turn and look toward my car; I am still on the phone, and then I wake up from the dream.

My business partner — she is the photographer – her gift is to capture images. She is the inner feminine, the artist. She is with her husband – a sacred partnership. He IS wherever she IS. I ask myself what is the difference between a business relationship and a marriage. A marriage is a sacred contract and a public celebration of a bond. In a business partnership I see there is a way you can have a built in right to gain something without necessarily having a sacred bond. Their marriage partnership represents something important that they are showing to me that I have left out – about how to honor my own relationship with my inner feminine, the artist. There is potential not just to use her for her gifts but also to be always in sacred alignment with her and to have her agreement for everything I am doing. To always Be where she is.

In the dream I am feeling insistent on the need to do something I feel both obligated and driven to do. But in order for me to go through with it I must run away, isolate myself from my partner, which is a clue that it is out of balance with who I am. And I am so uncomfortable with the consequence of this I am on the phone, in close connection to a God-Self voice, telling Him my every move. Another clue that the plan I am about to carry out is questioning the natural order. I leave in the pitch black of night and flee to my truck. I can’t see a thing – I am totally blind. Then Nature in complete service to my Highest self, turns on the house lights! Pay close attention-this is like the loudspeaker saying listen to this! And my partner’s husband, the true masculine asks me the question, “Have you thought about what you will do when SHE is not there?” and that question ‘wakes me up from the dream’.

I felt deeply the overriding question “Have you considered all the ways your life will be different without your feminine side in alignment with your every move?” I saw immediately its relevance to a current situation of some life choices I was about to make in a particular from of mind, and also an old habit—the imposition of either/or when I was feeling trapped in survival mode. Again not the actual content is in question first--but the feeling state which will definitely effect the content of any manifestation, for sure. 

So I get to see the rightful place of the masculine – asking the one question that will put me back in alignment with my inner Goddess, my inner Feminine, the one who captures the images, the virtual Queen of the Arts within me. And from there as both of the forces integrate inside me I could ask what was rightful action in response to the issue I was experiencing in my life.

Although there are times our dreams are giving us literal advice, avenues to follow, we must use our common sense...a dream would not tell us for instance to go jump off a high building.  But they could tell us to come down out of our minds and make contact with a more ground place, or experience a freedom like flight in some arena in our lives. So make a lot of room around you when you turn on the movie projector and take note of who is in the audience.  Most likely they are going to be your new best friends.